I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
