I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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