well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize