Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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