Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
