I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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