i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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