shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When are your genitals available?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
