i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
