we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
