dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
