Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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