i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
