it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
