walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
