Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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(573): View more from Missouri

just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

(636): View more from Missouri

Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

(573): View more from Missouri

IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating

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