I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize