I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
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