I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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