Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
