I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
