I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
