don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
