Your tits are I can't wait for
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
