just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
