bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
