you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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