brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
