just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
