Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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