I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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