Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
