fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
