is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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