He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
