a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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