Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
