I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The ass gains better be worth it
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