what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
