Already got asked if we're dating
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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