i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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