In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
