idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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