There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
