He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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