I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
