And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
