time to smoke my breakfast
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
