I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
