I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize