you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
