We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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