I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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