My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
