If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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