garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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