if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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