school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
