I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
