there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
