this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
