Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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