i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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