Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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