make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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